The Previously Unwritten Rules of Cat

1. Rules are meant to be broken.
2. Icons are best left to professionals.
3. Cat should not be allowed to make up names.
4. Cat must be hugged while it is snowing.
5. Cat and Slade should NEVER be left alone with any forms of communication.
6. Cat shouldn’t be allowed to graze on online Media.
7. Cat should not be allowed to use the Trademark, Copyright, or All Rights Reserved symbols.
8. Listen to Cat. Occasionally she’s right.
9. Cat should never be allowed to combine characters. (Example: Roy + Hao = Rao )
10. Cat shouldn’t be allowed to combine words either. (Example: Squidget, Squikits, mmft)
11. Never give Cat ideas.
12. Never let Cat rewrite ANYTHING. (Example: Toaster oh Toaster, where for art thou toaster, deny thy jam and refuse thy butter, and if thou wilt not then declare thy Marmalade and I shalt no longer be a bread basket.)
13. Don’t let Cat spout random facts.
14. Never let Cat RP with herself.
15. Don’t let Cat think of loopholes.
16. Letting Cat think of unnatural pairings is BAD. (Gluttony x Armstrong )
17. Don’t let Cat Show Off.
18. Letting Cat think of lists of things is also very bad.
19. Cat should never be allowed to make up words and give them meanings. (Example: Moof. A Word so insignificant that most ignore it whenever it does get the chance to roll of a Tongue. But I means so much more. Love the Moof. Find the Inner Moof. Be The Moof... Moof.)
20. Never get in range of Cat if she has threatened anything. There is a dangerously good chance she will do it.
21. Don’t let Cat sing. She will slaughter the original song.
22. Don’t let Cat nickname you. However after you have been nicknamed just resign to your fate.
23. If you value your sanity, don’t make Cat rhyme.
24. If you value your mind in any form, don’t give Cat new words to latch onto.
25. Don’t let Cat think of new threats and/or curses. (Examples: May cheekins infest your hairdryer!, May thousands of fleas infest your armpits!, May Chickens infest your bedspread and spiders share your tea., I’m going to rip out your tongue and throttle you with it!)
26. Don’t Give Cat shiny or sharp objects, someone will get hurt or mentally scarred for life.
27. Cat shouldn’t be allowed to talk to her computer.
28. Do not allow Cat to talk with herself. (Especially while walking through Wal-Mart air-drumming to music only she can hear.)
29. Don’t let Cat explain things.
30. Don’t let Cat play with any features on ANYTHING.
31. Don’t let Cat eat candy while watching a new anime.
32. Try not to give Cat anything to obsess over. It can be Deadly.
33. Try to avoid Cat-made run-on sentences, and Dash-words. (Example: The Oops-I-didn't-notice-that-giant-sword-though-your-stomach-oh-wait-you’re-dead-and-I-didn't-listen-to-your-last-request?-Well-Dang. Type.)
34. There is Porn of it.
35. Don’t let Cat Rant.
36. Try not to get into a position that involves Cat and waaay too many Quotes.
37. Don’t let Cat make up Dances.
38. Listening to Cat MAY be hazardous to your health and or social life.
39. Don’t give Cat lists that include the words “How to annoy” or “Evil Overlord”.
40. Don’t give Cat lists. Period!
41. In fact, keep or get this list away from her! NOW!
42. Forks do count as Sharp.
43. Don’t let Cat think of conspiracy theories.
44. Don’t give Cat sugar.
45. Never let Cat borrow anything, least of all your Soul.
46. Keep Chains, Belts, and Straps away from Cat or prepare to lose them forever.
47. Don’t tempt Cat. She might do it.
48. If Cat is stealing pants, immediately switch to a different type of clothing or give her a clone of your pants immediately.
49. If you have found any manner of interesting subject don’t let Cat know. She will research the subject thoroughly and you’ll have to deal with her “Fun Facts”.
50. Using the words “Force” or “Have to” while trying to get Cat to do something is almost an absolute guarantee she won’t do it.
51. Don’t get on the subject of family lines near Cat.
52. Don’t question Cat’s use of words, spelling of words or made-up words.
53. If you ask Cat to RP she won’t do it, if you trick Cat into RPing she may let you get away with it.
54. Cat will forget words, phrases, and most things that have happened. So if she has no Idea what your talking about blame her memory.
55. If Cat happens to send you a picture, smile and nod. Maybe say you like the colors. In any case it’s good to have her on your side, so don't tell her flat out you hate it.
56. Don’t mention Gaia or Neopets. She’ll whine about how much gold/NP she has.
57. Cat doesn’t like pictures of herself, she doesn’t like talking about herself, and she finds the fact that ANYONE finds her even remotely attractive a freakish implausibility. So don’t bring it up.
58. Cat is a rabid Obsessively Fanatical Fangirl (AKA OFF). So try to keep her off the subject of cute anime guys she wants to steal.
59. Caffeine and Cat should never be allowed to mix.
60. Everything is Cat's Fault.
61. If it’s not Cat’s Fault it’s Crystal's.
62. If it’s not Crystal’s Fault it’s Slade’s.
63. If it's none of the above, there is a good chance we can blame Devin.
64. When trying to get Cat to leave you alone try giving her the link to a very long fanfic.
65. Never leave Crystal and Cat alone with Horoscopes.
66. Never let Cat get Crystal hooked on fortune telling. She does it well enough on her own.
67. Do not allow Cat’s Father to quote TV shows.
68. Any character played by Cat will at some time or another, purr/churr/murr.
69. They will put in the rule "Cat's dumb...and and... stupid! and and.. dumb!" only after proven death of Cat.
70. Everyone leaves. No exceptions.
71. When asked to marry Cat accept and she will add you to a list of wives. If you do not accept she will proposition you about 60 thousand more times that hour.
72. It is in fact easier to accept the proposal than to fight it.
73. For the love of anything you Care for, Keep your mint or Cheese away from her if she shows interest.
74. Contrary to common thought, Cat is not entirely obsessed with anything to the point of losing her mind. She can and will refuse mint, cheese, ramen, Jalapeno pocky, favorite Bishonen, favorite series, favorite people, and shiny objects. She is not completely infatuated with dragons, and sees them as a passing, but very large, fancy.
75. Cat is stupid, or at least that's what she claims. When someone else tells her this she promptly offers information to the contrary.
76. Cat is bad tempered, annoying, loud, obnoxious, and vicious. She will get downright pissed, and it is at those times that you leave her alone.
77. If Cat is trying to push herself away, give her a hug. She does this to keep out of reach of people so she doesn't think she's manipulating them.
78. If Cat actually attempts to hurt you badly and/or cusses seriously in the idea of you getting away from her, it is a sign she really does want to be left alone.
79. Work of any sort makes for a bad tempered/sad Kitten. She hates working, and will only do things if they inspire, amuse, or distract her. Occasionally however she will do things solely to bother other people and/or prove them wrong.
80. A Green Thumb is not generally what is associated with Cat and her Gardening. She tends to forget to water, or give any attention to her plants. However when she does, they seem to thrive.
81. If you have an open file, that you have worked very very hard on the program WILL shut down, randomly delete everything, throw itself away, or you will hit a wrong button.
82. Also, your internet will die at the worst moment.
83. Cat is easily amused, so don’t give her any links that could possibly rot her brain farther. (Examples: The Bubble Wrap Page, The Poo-Bah page)
84. Cat is an attention whore. She will sulk without it. She's stupid like that.
85. Cat is scared, and will always be scared, that somehow without realizing it, she's manipulating everything, that everything is her fault, and that nothing is real.
86. Cat is a hypocrite, and always contrary. Therefore this rule is false. Unless you think it's false. Then it's true.
87. Do not always agree, Catsu likes arguments and will inspire them on purpose. However she likes winning too. ;D
88. Kim does too.
89. If it has black hair and no father, it's an illegitimate bastard child of Hao Asakura, possibly from a past form.
90. If it's blonde, and has no father, it's an illegitimate bastard child of Hohenheim of the Light, and one of many.
91. If you're going to have a Trigun marathon, you need a box of doughnuts. End story.
92. Crystal and Cat make a very formidable team, try to stay out of the way.
93. Crystal should not be allowed to experiment with sugary foodstuffs.
94. Never drink while Trygg is doing impressions.
95. Trygg is also an ass.